Is there a fine line between being there for someone “no matter what” and being that someone’s doormat? How fine? Microscopic?
Again, as some of my Twitter followers know, I wrote an email a few weeks ago. I’ve been having problems with a friend.
Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I hate starting sentences by saying “Dr. Phil says” but Dr. Phil once said that you shouldn’t
marry someone unless you’ve seen them sick. Because when you’re sick you become a big whimpering baby, and if your potential partner can’t handle that, then you’ve got a serious relationship problem. But I also think it gives the sick person a chance to see how their partner would take care of them when they need it most (and in the face of malady-fueled mood swings and inevitable disease catching) Now my situation is certainly not romantic, but I feel like you can still judge your friends based on how they’re there for you when you need them most. I was bedridden and bored. And not a single friend came to visit me. No one sent me flowers or brought me junk food, or even asked if there was something they could do for me. Now, I had no expectations of this stuff from most of my friends. But considering our history, I can’t seem to forgive this one friend for totally dropping the ball.
For the past 4 months, I’ve been trying to reconcile how I feel about their treatment of me. It also hasn’t helped that ever since then, our friendship has been completely one-sided; it’s just me, keeping our friendship going. And on top of that, the friend has been lying to me. The last time I saw this person, they lied to my face. To say that I’m hurt is an understatement.
I wrote an email confronting them, but I haven’t sent it. It definitely felt good to get the words out of my head. But I’m absolutely phobic about “burning bridges” and once you send the words, they can’t be taken back.
So where do you draw the line when it comes to friendships? What factors do you let override lousy treatment of you?
(My blog titles are song titles. Today’s is “Give Up Giving In” by Amanda Marshall – hello 90’s flashback)